It seems I have become the famous "Marcy".
Ironic. I always hated her after everything that's happened and now I find myself wanting to sit and have a conversation with her about how she deals with these things, but that isn't appropriate. Brandon is Isaiah and Kathy is me. Isaiah and I can go months without talking and spark a conversation one day and be back to the first days of when we met: laughing, making sarcastic jokes, revealing our innermost worries, and just being silly. I know he still has a lot of our things and he remembers more of our past than I do, so like Brandon, he has all the memories. After our break up, I killed him emotionally and it seems as though that's what she's done to him. Isaiah cannot show affection for Marcy as easily as he can, or still will, with me. I'm scared Brandon is the same way.
He'so shitty to me. Where are my flowers? my songs? my jewelry? I wait on him hand and foot and get nothing in return. I'm killing myself slowly. I've never been so unhappy in my life, not even when Isaiah rejected me.
I know one thing - if nothing changes, I'm saving up my money after I get a car and license, make sure it's all cash, and take off. I refuse to say where for fear of being found and I'll make damn sure not to leave any kind of trail. I'll probably be living with him at the time so I'll just leave him a note because it's really taking a toll on me and I can't see lose who I am because of someone who doesn't even tell me I'm beautiful.
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